2ollux-captor-ii2-my-dance2tor:

useless-worthless-nobody:

azalea-in-time:

When you go to a haunted house, it may seem like you’re being funny by trying to scare the actors or jump out at them when you go through a second time, but guess what? ITS NOT FUNNY.

You pay us to scare you. It is your choice to go, so don’t fucking go through if you’re going to ignore the rules and get too close to the actors as a ‘joke’.

These bruises happened because over the course of 4 hours, several people ignored the instructions that CLEARLY stated that they were to wait in the front room until told otherwise. Rather than listen, they ran into the next room and slammed into me- effectively throwing me into the wall. This didn’t only happen once. It happened ten times at LEAST.

Then we had this asshole who thought that once I ‘died’ for the haunt, he could pretend to kick me to see if I’d moved. I, being used to people abusing me- jumped back and slammed my head into the concrete wall.

YOU ARE NOT FUNNY BY BEING RUDE AT A HAUNTED HOUSE. WE ARE PAID ACTORS THAT YOU CHOOSE TO COME AND SEE PERFORM. YOU PAY US TO SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF YOU, SO DONT HIT US WHEN WE DO

I feel that this is relevant considering it is October and more Haunted Houses are opening up. I know it seems funny to scare the ‘monsters’ but all you do is hurt real people. So stop.

It’s not even October but I’m still spreading this

SIGNAL BOOOOOOOOSSSSSTTTTT!!!!!!! Now

luaren:

honestly can’t wait for the 50 shades movie to normalize the manipulation of lower-level female employees.  can’t wait for the new wave of “consent is sexy” banners on the cover of cosmo.  can’t wait for teen girls to think that a controlling relationship is romantic.  can’t wait for sexualized violence to become increasingly mainstream.  and most of all, i can’t wait for bdsm to be labeled a feminist revolution

squigglydigg:

dog out of water.  solution: eat other dog

aduhm:

madskittlez29:

I’d rather…

Party like a Time Lord

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Dress like a consulting detective

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Eat like an Angel of the Lord

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And own my life like Robert Downey Jr

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shitdickfuckmothafucka:

tan-the-man:

themajesticalnarwhal:

He looks so strange without the mustache. 

You mean damn fine.

From Pornstache to Fuckmesideways with just one razor.

justmyflawedlogic:

lokisgloriouspenis:

okay today i learned that apparently the penis has a say in whether or not a child will be a boy or a girl

female sperm swims slower than male sperm, but the males can’t swim for as long as the females. this means that a long penis will be closer to the egg when releasing the sperm, and there will be a higher chance for the child to be a boy.

so in conclusion

if you have a lot of sons you have a big dick

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eziocauthon89:

I don’t know which is the “correct” answer, but I know which one I’m going to use from now on

eziocauthon89:

I don’t know which is the “correct” answer, but I know which one I’m going to use from now on

221beyonce:

LOOK AT MY TALENTED BOYFRIEND DOING TALENTED BOYFRIEND THINGS

yivialo:

mandjp:

life-of-beyonce:

too much slay not enough words

whaaaaaaat

fuck

realbookofmorgan:

but how am i supposed to know the world is fucked up if banksy doesn’t spray paint it on a public wall